Life keeps changing. And I can feel myself changing it's scary. So much so I want to cry at times. Not in a bad way of course, but it's simply one of those very overwhelming moments in life that you think back on all that has happened and you realize that you are not the same person you were before.

I was sitting in at Boon Lay MRT just yesterday, waiting to meet MY GORGEOUS. I missed her so much. Work really prevents us from meeting up as often as we did before. It was a saturday and I ended work at a bloody 6pm. Ok I am not really complaining because I did have work to finish up. Anyway, back to Boon Lay MRT. I was literally half asleep and sitting on the platform. There was a small wind blowing against my face and the view was one of those where you could really see far and wide, an almost perfect reflective moment. And I realized this..

I have become a very money minded person and getting bothered about income and expenditure. I see people every day who are struggling to make ends meet, and no chance to breathe at all. People every day who think about their next meal, who think about whether their children are able to go to school or to buy books. I mean I know these people exist, but today, these people shake my hand on a daily basis and even a simple question like "how are you" brings so much more than just "fine thank you
'.

And I meet people who get nasty when the very basics of their life are being threatened. To take care of an elderly is not an easy task. Even with a maid. And definitely not easy for the maid as well. It requires one to step out of his or her comfort zone, to make tonnes of sacrifices. It is more than a mouthful and I definitely am unable to put everything in here.

But it definitely puts Jesus' teachings in perspective. Always this talk about putting oneself out of one's comfort zone, etc. It's not really for one's own benefit, it's for the sake of those around you. And one day, we will be thankful if there is someone out there who is willing to sacrifice for us. We can't survive in this world alone. There is a need for dependence that we can't run away from. And it's not a bad thing at all.

Love one another as I have loved you.

i never felt so close to Jesus before. it's pretty weird considering how my parents keep saying how i have become disillusioned or straying away from God because i lost interest in mass and things like that. but somehow in some weird way, Jesus never felt so close to me before. everyday i feel Him so alive in the different people that i meet and talk to. i talk to Him a lot more too. everytime i want to blog about how alive He is now, words simply fail me. i just don't know how to describe how i feel. there is just so much to tell. it's not an exciting feeling or anything. more like just an affirmative feeling that He is out there.

thank you for pointing me down this path and bringing me along.

i guess whatever makes you tick huh. sounds a bit sacrilegious considering how mass is supposed to be the pinnacle of one's faith. i don't want to be a good catholic or whatever anymore. it's tiring trying to conform to standards set by others with all this labeling going on. i guess for now i shall continue to try to keep my faith as simple as possible.

love one another as i have loved you.

cliche as it may sound, please do it.

it will stop sounding cliche as soon as death starts staring you in the face.

thanks bunch! you guys were fantastic. big shout out to my GAN NUER who took the trouble to organize and contact everyone. thanks so much GAN NUER! thanks so much to MY GORGEOUS (of course), MARILYN, KAREN, GREG and JON!

fabulous company is like this. there is particularly sweet after taste that you just long for even after it goes down your palate. the food and excellent service was just icing on the cake.

i agree with you jon. we should continue to do this, even after everyone has started working. i just hope that time does not escape us and we grab it by its throat, wrangle it and keep it under our seats and make sure it does not run away.

i love my friends.

enjoy your youth while it lasts.

everyone grows old. whether we like it or not. and whether we like it or not, growing old means our body starts to change and problems that we never had or never dream we would have will start coming out. and well, we can't really stop it.

so how?

we can minimize the problems by leading a healthy lifestyle when we are young. we can try to stay as positive, optimistic, compassionate and happy as much as possible as it will help too. not only will it help physically, but being helpful and good natured helps to build a strong support network, which will definitely come in useful in your later life.

and it's good to start early. because old habits die hard. and we might realize that someday sometime later, we might be really really alone.

today a patient of mine became very ill and very confused. no one knew why. i stood by and visited as often as i could. i tried to make him talk to me as much as possible. nothing else.

in some strange way, i felt like this was what social work is about. being there for your patient even though he does not know you are there. standing silent in the background praying that he will have the strength to pull through.

hopefully it's enough.